We have a United States president who is 79. Our past president is 82. I am almost 73. All of us are old. Being older in the United States now is not unusual. Old age has become a sort of “chronic condition” in my lifetime.

As a boy, I never imagined myself at age 73. I knew no one of that age. As a practicing physician, I saw old age become a common reality as my patients aged and often thrived in their later years. Medical advances played a part in helping many of the citizens of our country to live longer, as does better nutrition, national prosperity and several other factors.

The fact of older age is a societal reality. Locally, over 30 per cent of Vineyarders are 65 and older. The future trajectory is clear as well. We are getting older still. What is not clear are the implications of an older population for our nation and locally for our community of Martha’s Vineyard. We all have ideas about what it means to be old. Yet, many of these ideas neither help us to understand the challenges posed by aging, nor to perceive the benefits of a community leavened by a large number of older adults. These pre-existing ideas are often stereotypes and are referred to as “ageism.”

Dr. Robert Butler, the first director of the National Institute of Aging, coined the term ageism in 1969. He defined it as “a bias against, discrimination toward or bullying of individuals and groups on the basis of their age.” Ageism as it is commonly used has negative connotations. Ageism appears like other negative “isms.” Racism, antisemitism, nativism and elitism all connote negative biases with destructive consequences. When we glibly say that someone is “too old to do the job” or “too old to drive” we often are making a judgment without the benefit of knowledge. This is ageism. When we glance at a car driver whose driving has annoyed us, often by going slow, to see if they are “old”, this is ageism.

Ageist assertions deprive older individuals of the respect we all deserve as unique individuals. This can hurt both individuals and their community. Ageism like other “isms” is a generalization. All generalizations suffer from oversimplification. This oversimplification can mask what might be legitimate concerns. In that way ageism is doubly unhelpful.

The best way to combat the inappropriate generalizations of ageism is to learn by listening. The older adult population of Martha’s Vineyard is diverse. Stereotypes describe this diversity poorly. You can learn an enormous amount by listening to conversations in Healey Square while waiting to pick up your mail in Oak Bluffs. You will hear older adults talk about their health and visits to their doctors. You will hear about travels to local destinations like Reliable Market and to more exotic places like Peru.

Conversations will revolve around a wide range of topics including wheelchairs, pickleball, fishing and yoga. You also will hear younger neighbors’ worries about their aging parents. They will relate stories about their loved ones’ safety. Other adult children will brag about their parents’ grandparenting skills.

Healthy Aging MV, a local nonprofit with the mission of “helping older adults thrive,” has been in the business of listening and learning for the last 12 years. From our conversations with older adults, we have learned that older adults do not like to be called “elderly”, nor “seniors.” Most older adults resent the characterization of the aging of America as a “silver tsunami.”

From our surveys of older adults, we know that the vast majority want to stay in their homes as they grow older. We also know that most of them are worried about how they will do that. They worry about money. A surprising number, almost 25 per cent, report annual incomes of $25000 or less — far too little to live in a community as expensive as ours without concern.

Older adults worry about upkeep on their home and finding people to do necessary maintenance. They worry about homes that have become too large for them and their inability to find any place on the Island that is smaller and more suited to their needs. Older adult Vineyarders are concerned that when they need help, they may not be able to get what they need.

Based on what we have learned, we at Healthy Aging MV have partnered with other colleagues to address older adults’ concerns by developing programs. That process has also taught us much. We found that transportation is a great concern. Through the HAMV sponsored Transportation Coalition approximately 10,000 rides were provided to older adults who expressed their inability to get to their doctor, to the store or simply to “get around.”

Some older adults voiced frustration at the complexity of accessing the internet. The Digital Equity Coalition arranged for hundreds of older adults to benefit from the connectivity that the internet offers by teaching them the skills necessary to navigate the net successfully. Our Home Safety Modification Program uncovered a major need. One hundred and fifty older adults benefited from home safety modifications to their homes to enable them to live safely where they prefer to be.

These examples may give the mis-impression that older adults are “needy” and contribute little to the community. Far from the truth. We know through research done by HAMV that over 50 per cent of older adults on the Vineyard volunteer. They do so in diverse ways. Some volunteer to drive others. Others deliver meals to those who need them. Some older adults work to keep our Island beautiful by working on gardens and planting trees in our parks. Some act as tutors and others as volunteers help make our libraries vibrant community centers. A number contribute their experience as volunteer members of committees, commissions and local boards.

Despite their diversity, there is one common theme shared among Vineyard older adults. All want respect. “Ageist” stereotypes by their very nature deprive older adults of their vibrant individuality as people.

The Vineyard is a special place for all ages. To keep it that way as the number of older adults increases, it is vital that we all continue to listen and learn. Ageism, which can afflict all of us at any age, short circuits the learning and listening necessary to help older adults, and our community, to thrive.

To facilitate ongoing learning about the risks of ageism in our community, Healthy Aging MV is sponsoring a community discussion, Confronting and Conquering Ageism, at the Stillpoint Center in West Tisbury from 5 to 7 on Friday, July 31. There is no charge. For more information and to sign up, visit hamv.org or stillpointmv.org.

Bob Laskowski is chair of board of directors for Healthy Aging Martha’s Vineyard.