I was not born on Martha’s Vineyard, but it was pretty close. The first time I visited the Island was when mother was pregnant with me more than 50 years ago.
I was not born on Martha’s Vineyard, but it was pretty close. The first time I visited the Island was when mother was pregnant with me more than 50 years ago.
I have spent part of every year since on the Vineyard.
After I was born, my parents rented for a few summers then they bought a rustic duck hunting camp on a magical piece of land on Chilmark Pond. Since then it has been our refuge from the world — an oasis for our family that we have loved and cherished for two generations.
But it’s not ours anymore.
After 52 years, the Pond House has just been sold and our roots on the Vineyard have been cut.
It’s heartbreaking and overwhelming — but to be honest, it feels right.
My three brothers and I realized that much has changed in half a century, and that it was time to let the house go.
Sunset on the pond.
Sunset on the pond.
It’s a humble home, built by legendary builder Daniel Manter in 1935 and then purchased by my mom and dad in 1967.
During that time, the Island has changed radically with the invasion of Presidents, private jets and air-conditioned McMansions. But life at our unheated, one-bathroom camp on the pond has mercifully been frozen in time. The house sits at the water’s edge surrounded by tall grasses and marsh mallows. The only sounds the rippling water, the wind in the reeds and the honking of geese — and in the distance the constant wash of the pounding surf.
Growing up, we would race to the ferry from Boston almost year-round, from chilly house openings in April to windy, gray closings in November.
As a young boy, my parents gave me the greatest gift of all on the property, a free-range childhood.
Grabbing a bucket, a fishing pole and a tackle box, I would hitchhike from the base of Abel’s Hill to Menemsha to fish off Dutcher Dock and the jetty. Why anyone picked me up on the way home with rotting bait in my bucket remains a mystery. (Back then it wasn’t calamari, it was squid and it was fish food.)
As I got older, my relationship with Island evolved. I spent summers painting houses, bartending at the Lampost and David’s Island House. Those were some endless summers for me, but family was the beating heart of the Pond House.
My parents were gracious and generous hosts — family and friends would come and visit unannounced. Everyone was welcome to share a cocktail on the deck or a lobster and a laugh.
I knew my wife was the one when I brought her to the Island more than 25 years ago and she immediately bonded to the house and the Island’s warm embrace.
Then we started a family of our own and suddenly my own children were running around on the same stretch of South Beach that I did. Pure, free, simple joy on the faces of my kids echoed my own childhood. The circle had been completed.
But time has moved swiftly. My dad is gone, my mom too fragile to travel. My carefree kids with sunburns and mosquito bites are in college now. I live in California and my other brothers are scattered from coast to coast.
Times have changed — schedules are booked a year in advance, the spontaneity that fueled the Vineyard experience has been replaced by rigorously maintained Google calendars. The simple house on Chilmark Pond had become more a burden than a blessing, and that was not right.
We’ve never taken our temporary stewardship of the house for granted. We know how blessed we have been, but it’s time for someone else to wave to the swans and geese who come to visit every day.
But it hurts. The house and the Island are deep in my DNA, part of who I am, and that will never change.
James Taylor, the formative artist of my Island youth, had it right: “The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.”
I’ve done just that for my entire life on the Vineyard.
A new chapter begins now. Thank you mom and dad, so long to MVY friends. I’ll be back soon.
Bob Asher lives in Los Angeles and formerly Chilmark.
Comments
Beautifully written Bob! I
Sioux Eagle Martha’s VineyardBeautifully written Bob! I can totally relate.
Beautifully written tribute
Jody Margolin Hahn Woodland HillsBeautifully written tribute to such a special place. I’ve never been, but your vivid description of your memories there make me feel as if I have.
Bob, I knew your dad, Norm.
Joe MulCahy Needham HeightsBob, I knew your dad, Norm. He was the attorney for the family that I purchased a company from. Although he was "on the other side" he and I shared an instant bond with our love of the Vineyard. He would light up when talking about all the "comings and goings" at the Pond House. Your dad was a rare breed, direct and honest. I am better for knowing him.
Best wishes to you and your family as you enjoy your Vineyard memories.
Joe - Thanks for remembering
bob Los AngelesJoe - Thanks for remembering my dad fondly. He loved the Vineyard wth all of his heart - especially sitting on the deck at the pond house surrounded by kids and grandkids - with binoculars on his lap, a gin and tonic on the table and a cigar in the ash tray!!
So well put. The island’s
David Murphy Carmel, NYSo well put. The island’s beauty has a way of enveloping ones soul. What a wonderful house. You have been blessed.
What a beautiful ode to the
Lisa Herrick DC and AquinnahWhat a beautiful ode to the island and to your family's life intersection with the Vineyard. I loved every word and nodded at each one. My life has run a parallel track, substituting only a 900 square foot beach camp on Dogfish Bar, rather than a Pond House. When we sold our camp in 2004 our family also had disbursed, my dad had died, my mom moved into assisted living. I couldn't let go though!!! It took 12 years, but my husband and I managed to save enough to buy our own small house in 2016 on Lighthouse Road, a short crow's flight down to Dogfish Bar. I feel so sad for you though it sounds like the right decision for you to let go - but if you ever want to come back and visit and run around barefoot, you have a room at our little house. Seriously!
How perfectly Vineyard
Eileen Hamblin Melrose, MAHow perfectly Vineyard sounding. Just the kind of thing that happens on the Vineyard so I know you mean it.
Beautifully written and has
Kathleen CailBeautifully written and has touched my heart.
I can relate the sentiments
Albert Fischer West TisburyI can relate the sentiments expressed in this story having just sold our family farm this past December.
I spent many spring days basking in the warm sun with my friends along the banks of Chilmark Pond, fishing for trout. I often envisioned living in the camp that Daniel Manter built and felt it would have been an ideal place for me.
Thanks, Bob Asher for writing this poignant piece about your passage of time.
Wonderful story, wonderfully
ecs Edgartown Ft LauderdaleWonderful story, wonderfully written and so sad !
Beautiful
Karlene Johnson Salisbury, MaBeautiful
I love this story and it
Kathy Indy and AquinnahI love this story and it brought tears to my eyes! My story is very similar - having been brought to the Island by my parents in the early 1960s. We too have an unheated, 1 bathroom cottage that is in my DNA as well as in my children's. It has been a magical place to grow and make memories, and although a lot has changed, I am not quite ready to give it up yet!
You echoed my feelings, when
Joan Hollander New York CityYou echoed my feelings, when we sold our beloved home on Nantucket 51/2 years ago. It hurt, but we were blessed.
Like Sioux, so very much can
Mia Lewis Columbus, Ohio and Tisbury Great PondLike Sioux, so very much can relate! Thanks for writing.
Thanks for sharing and for
Allison Whalen Cape CodThanks for sharing and for capturing so beautifully the feelings we have for Martha’s Vineyard. You have been blessed to have MV memories in your DNA. ❤️
Beautifully put and I can
MeredithBeautifully put and I can totally relate. Sad but memories prevail!
Like everyone else who has
Patty Howell Leucadia, CALike everyone else who has commented, I loved your story and related to it on several levels. And for me, learning that your house was built by Daniel Manter was the most compelling pieces because my father, Everett Howell, worked for Dan’l, as he was called, when he first landed on the Island, which I believe was the early 1930’s. My father was his carpenter’s apprentice and he learned how to build from Dan’l, and as a result, became a very able craftsman.
I never knew where the houses were that the two of them built together—although I always assumed they were Up Island, and so it’s fun for me to think that your Pond House might be one of them.
I read this and as others
Steve Boylston Summerdale AlabamaI read this and as others stated, it was really nice. My Ancestors settled on the Vineyard 300 years ago and are buried right across the Street from the Edgartown Fire Department. They named a Street after them in Boston. As with all families some ventured out to Maryland and Virginia, then to South Carolina. I came from the South Carolina family. When I was growing up out in rural Aiken SC my vacation was looking at old National Geographic’s my uncle had. It all seemed impossible to me that the places in there were real, we had no money just a lot of family land, I remember well one that had Cape Cod and the Islands in it. I just thought the Pilgims lived in a beautiful place. I had never seen an Ocean just creeks. As time passed to escape I moved to Vermont,, I had to see New England., after getting there , it was better than National Geo. As life deals out different things to us, onward to Colorado, Virginia, New York. Then about 10 years ago to Martha’s Vineyard, I moved off of Deep Bottom Road down in the woods. My wife and I thought this is really neat, Dirt Roads like when I grew up. We hiked the woods and trails many times and the little one room cattages were scattered out here and there. Some no power or running water. One winter she went to stay in Chappaqua New York with friends. I was home alone. So then came the snows and cold, I found a great appreciation for firewood, very few people were around. Sometimes I would go out at 1-2 o’clock and hike tbrough the woods knee deep snow, it was unreal., I had the whole place, no one else . I became close friends with ll of the animals out there. There was a small one room cottage I came to one day, the front door was open, I said anyone home? So looking inside it was like the 1920,s. Someone had broken a window and climbed in., I realized that and boarded the window and locked the door, and thought some one has had a great time here over the years. The big money people always want a Mansion so the neighbors can see it, the call it Prestige in their world. I enjoyed my 4 years there and always was impressed by the old and the small original period Homes where families lived simple ,, they didn’t need a jet to get there, they never left, they were home. I hope to make it back someday , enjoy
Hi, Steve Boylston. It's
Sara Piazza EdgartownHi, Steve Boylston. It's interesting that you should say that your ancestors are buried across the street from the Edgartown fire station. My grandfather Herbert Boylston and my grandmother Mabel Shurtleff Boylston are also buried across from the Edgartown fire station, the grave that is marked with the large rose quartz headstone. My mother's maiden name was Boylston and my ancestors were also the Boylstons after whom they named the street in Boston. I'm from the line of Peter Boylston, brother of Susanna Adams, and the first constable in the town of Brookline, Massachusetts, and a member of the handful of founding families of that town. I'm not sure if there were any Boylstons on the island 300 years ago. The only one I know of is my grandfather, mentioned above, who married my grandmother, an Edgartown farm girl, in the late 1800s. If you ever get back to the island stop into the Alison Boylston Piazza House in Edgartown and say hi. I'm always up for meeting a new cousin. Cheers. (and yes, lovely story about the house on the pond, Mr. Asher - I can relate, being in the constant state of trying to maintain ancestral property here in Edgartown)
A lovely piece. Thank you.
katama rose katama and boston, maA lovely piece. Thank you.
Still having trouble with the
Kathy Logue West TisburyStill having trouble with the idea that there won’t be Ashers in the neighborhood!!! We understand, of course, but you will all be missed! If you miss the view, you know who to visit!
Thanks Kathy - we will miss
bob los angelesThanks Kathy - we will miss all of the Logues and may take you up on your offer!
What a lovely piece. I too
Gayle Vineyard HavenWhat a lovely piece. I too can identify with it, although the house I miss isn't on a pond in the woods, but right in Vineyard Haven on Center Street. It was the Cronig family homestead for close to 100 years. My grandfather Sam Cronig bought the house with one of his brothers in 1920 because neither one could afford it alone. One family lived upstairs and my grandfather's family lived downstairs. Eventually my mom, Ruth, inherited the beautiful Victorian era home. But when she died two and a half years ago we, myself and three siblings, had to make the difficult decision to sell. I accept this decision but am sad every time I drive past there.
Lovely piece. As I read it
Walter Rowe Columbia, MarylandLovely piece. As I read it the voice in my head is Robert Redford's as he narrates his movie A River Runs Through It. By the end of the movie, the narrator's character is an old man, fly fishing alone on a river in the Big Sky country of Montana where he has spent his entire life. He is now reflecting back on the peacefulness of simpler times. Like this story above, the life of the character in the movie has been filled with love and fond memories. Thank you Bob Asher for sharing your heart warming story above. It warmed my heart on a cold late winter day.
I understand the emotion but
Don Edgar Oak BluffsI understand the emotion but didn't $1,750,000 mil help at all. Maybe a reverse mortgage.
No amount of money can
JR PhilaNo amount of money can replace the love and feel of the Vineyard. A nicely written piece; many families through the years share this emotion.
This resonates with me. Thank
Darcy Conlin ScituateThis resonates with me. Thank you for sharing.
So touching! My husbands
The Wildermanns CTSo touching! My husbands family and now ours have spent the same summers on MV. We have had the privilege of staying at your Pond House a few times and we loved it as much as you. We were sad to hear it was sold. Hoping it stays the same and maybe we can get there again.
I remember your parents....
Pam Butterick Oak BluffsI remember your parents.....knew your neighbors on the pond, the Mills family. Your parents were kind enough to drive me to my school in Newton several times. During those rides, I gleaned the high intellect and humor that your family shared. It was lovely.
Bob, what a beautiful tribute
Rachel Sabbag Reynolds West Tisbury and Needham, MABob, what a beautiful tribute to one of the most special places on earth. I am forever grateful to your family for your generosity in hosting us over the years. Thanks to the Ashers, I fell in love with the Vineyard, and cherish the times I now spend there with my own family making more Island memories.
Running barefoot from tree
Sarah (Sally) Richards Whidbey Island and West TisburyRunning barefoot from tree shadow to tree shadow on hot summer roads to the small camp our friends had on Tisbury Great Pond is the iconic memory of my childhood on the Vineyard. Every summer they would vacate their main house on the West Tisbury Edgartown Road and move to camp beyond Margie Manter’s horse farm. We’d skinny dip in the clam populated mud bottom water and feast on meals cooked on a small propane stove lit by hurricane lamps because there was no electricity. Our mother didn’t move out of her year ‘round house, but would join these friends for suppers and musicals in the evenings. What a gift to be able to have lived this kind of life, thank you for sharing the memories.
Wow! Looks like you struck a
Sarah ChilmarkWow! Looks like you struck a nerve, Bob! I've rarely seen so many comments. You certainly struck one with me. Those were quite simply the best of times. I frequently think of the camp my new husband and I stayed in on Larsen Lane as newlyweds and the progression of summers after that; the houses we lived in, the children we brought here who think of the island as home even though none of them was actually born here. Yes, it has changed a great deal, and as "year rounders" now we see those changes all too clearly. What indeed will the future bring? At least our memories are intact, and I cherish each and every one. Thank you for putting into words all the sweetness of the island that we older folks were so lucky to experience.
Hi Bob,
Paula Lyons Vineyard HavenHi Bob,
Beatifully written! And now that we live here full time, we understand that sense of loss completely. Best to you and yours!
Bobby! Wonderful, heartfelt
Brenda Sabbag Newport, RIBobby! Wonderful, heartfelt tribute to your family and past. When I visit Rachel is West Tisbury, I am constantly interjecting with stories of how Bobby Asher and I did this, were here and there, hitchhiking all over the Vineyard. The stories are also frozen in a simpler time, my kids tease me, but secretly wish they had the freedom that came with just a thumb, and the thirst for adventure. I hope the new owners can enjoy the home the way the Asher family did for 50 years. Treasure all the times you spent with friends and family, and how Vineyard life shaped you and your brothers....and smile.
Hey Bob- beautifully written.
Kate Warner West TisburyHey Bob- beautifully written. Thank you!
Bob Absolutely beautiful
Joel Armstrong San FranciscoBob Absolutely beautiful sentiments and writing. Time passes and it is time for someone else to appreciate the cabin.. However, you and the other members of the Asher clan have such fond memories!!!!!!
we spent the summer of 72 as
stephen kottmeier stony brookwe spent the summer of 72 as early teens with the asher brothers bobby and benji and their basset hound sebastian
the vineyard forever in my heart and DNA
have returned with new generations infrequently and my wife brought me back last summer 2023 for my 65th birthday
wonderful
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