Mark and John Lovewell, still on the same side of the street.
Ivy Ashe

A Couple of Bulls Giving the Gift of Each Other

In a 2014 essay, Mark Lovewell writes about his father John S. Lovewell, who died on Saturday, Nov. 25, at the age of 96.

John S. Lovewell died on Nov. 25 at the age of 96. The following essay by his son Mark was published in 2014.

Whenever I go to an Island social, I hear friends share stories about loved ones. Most of my peers talk about their spouses, or of their grown children.

When the conversation turns to me, I report about my 93-year-old dad, John S. Lovewell, who lives in Edgartown. Dad is active in local politics, and still serves as a water commissioner, something he has done since 1989, well before they tore down the old standpipe and built a new one.

Dad is a fixture in town and lives in his grandfather’s house. As a water commissioner, his longevity of service exceeds all of the department’s employees. His grandfather was the co-founder of the Edgartown Water Company, which built the first standpipe in 1906.

I see Dad every morning as I go to work and on weekends. We are close, but not so close that either of us can accuse the other of being annoying. He lives two blocks from where I work, but I live in Vineyard Haven.

Still, Dad is my significant other. Our kids, his five and my two, are grown. Our wives have moved on — Dad has been married more times than me. He also outnumbers me in dogs. He has walked and cared for four. I had one. All of them are in doggy heaven.

We’ve each seen the world separately aboard trains, ships, sailboats, planes and from journeys in our youth. He spent many years living in the Orient and is a World War II Navy veteran. During the Viet Nam War, I was a conscientious objector. But we do share similar political views, and a concern about the ineffectiveness of Congress in Washington. He keeps a closer eye on the proceedings than I do. The day after the last election, he updated a scoreboard of every Senate race. The highlight of my day was going bay scalloping in Cape Pogue with Cooper Gilkes and his son Danny.

Dad likes baseball more than football. I could care less about either sport, but I do get a kick out of watching him take flight when the Red Sox are in the World Series, and the Patriots walk over their opposition. He is an armchair sports enthusiast. I am a rocking chair mariner.

Our differences don’t outweigh our similarities. Despite our age and experience, we both think Edgartown harbor is the prettiest in the world. We love the Vineyard and enjoy a good storm. We each have desk drawers, file cabinets and cardboard boxes filled high with the things we care about, all of it colored by some level of love and dedication. Our bookshelves are crammed full with the best books ever written, though his selection in his Edgartown home is different in every way from mine in Vineyard Haven.

We were both born under the zodiacal sign of Taurus, the bull. Bulls are stubborn, opinionated and there is usually only one way to do things. Wait a minute, that is not him. I am describing myself. In 93 years of living a full life, Dad is a lot kinder than any bull.

My father’s aging puts a lot of responsibility in the hands of both of us and the many more who care about him. Dad wants to be independent. The family wants him to be safe. The overhead light bulb in the kitchen hasn’t been changed by him in over a decade. My brother hid the ladder. That is my job now.

I can’t remember the year Dad gave up bicycle riding through town, or when he quit driving, or stopped walking the dog, it was so long ago. But this is the year that my generous off-Island siblings and a neighbor got Dad his own iPad. The device opened up a whole world to a man who has seen the world. For the first time, he writes and reads emails.

I take Dad shopping once a week, which isn’t much. We both remember when his mother at age 90 still drove and went shopping at the A&P almost every day.

I don’t cook for Dad, which is why I think he has lived so long. We both rely and are grateful to Elder Services of Cape Cod and the Islands and the Edgartown Council on Aging for delivering the important meals he needs and deserves every day. I tell him, “I am your cook of last resort.”

As predictable as our lives together have become day to day, I have to say life overall has its unexpected treasures. There was not a thread of evidence in our earliest years together, when I was his prodigal son, that we’d become such good pals. I think this is a bigger gift to me than to him.

Comments

Jaacqueline (Jackie0 Kinnecom Colorado Springs, Colorado

I so enjoy reading what people write about my beloved home. I so enjoyed your article I just read from the Vineyard Gazette. I, too, was born on Martha's Vineyard at the hospital in Oak Bluffs. My parents name is Antone (Tony) and Gert Veira. They owned Tony's Market in Oak Bluffs all my growing up life. They have since passed and my sister Gerry and her husband Bill Correllus ran the store for several. Now there are new owners. I have such wonderful memories of growing up there. I married an Air Force man who was also a native of Vineyard Haven. Everett Kinnecom. He has since passed away. We traveled with the Air Force and retired here in Colorado Springs, Co. We raised our family here and now they are here there any everywhere. My roots are now here but I never stop yearning for my life on my beautiful Martha's Vineyard. Enjoy every minute of it. Keep writing and telling us of the life in a piece of God's country of Martha's Vineyard.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu, 12/18/2014 - 19:52

Permalink

Lynne Brook Edgartown

It does not seem that long ago that he was walking Gizmo in all weather.
What an admirable man!

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 06:33

Permalink

David Wilson Oak Bluffs

A wonderful piece, Mark. Have not met your dad, but he seems like a great guy.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 07:55

Permalink

Deanna Williamson Edgartown

Mark! Thank you for recognizing those unexpected treasures! Now comes to light where much of your generosity in history and present happenings come from, not forgetting your gift of time to others! Thank you to your father for his many contributions to life, his influence on your life and your pal! Cheers to you both!

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 08:43

Permalink

Pia Webster Edgartown

A thoughtful and beautifully expressed piece about two people I've had the privilege to know. It exemplifies the best the Gazette offers its readers. Thank you.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 09:11

Permalink

Sherry Thomas Chomitz formerly of the Gazette

Thank you for the gift of love shared at this tender time of the year. God bless you both, Mark.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 09:32

Permalink

Elizabeth field Oak bluffs

What a wonderful uplififting article. At the time of year when everyone is trying to give the perfect gift to a loved one,you hit a home run!

Frank Lovewell Northampton, Pennsylvania

Thank you Elizabeth for this comment and Mark will like it as none of my dads sons were so tallented on home runs in baseball...Dad loves home runs and touchdowns and I have requested him to write some comments on all our comments. Thank you for this article again to the Vineyard Gazette and I read it over the phone to my brother in New Hampshire who doesn't have access to the Gazette or to the internet.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 09:53

Permalink

Nancy Ferguson New Albany, Ohio

Such a thoughtful piece and so well written, as are all your articles, Mark. I was very touched by your kind and caring words.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 09:54

Permalink

Jack Lovewell Kunkletown

I love the editorial staff for printing this wonderful article about the two most precious people in my life - my brother and my dad. It makes me so happy to read the gazette every week....in life there are special events and special people. I love the gazette because it helps us focus on the positive things of both those topics....some how it reminds us that no matter where you live you can dwell on those things. Thank you, Mark - you are the best.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 11:20

Permalink

Cheryl O'Neil Newton, MA

I was so touched by your words, it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing your heartfelt story.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 13:21

Permalink

David Nathans Vineyard Haven

A very touching and compelling story about how wonderful it is to be in a long relationship with a parent. This a love story. I am sure it helps many of us better understand the value of parents and parenting in its basic forms: compassion and companionship. Well done.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 13:31

Permalink

Bob Dusa Oak Bluffs

Well done Mark. You continue to demonstrate your reMarkable talent(s), not only in the photo images you "shoot" for, but also in the written words that are published, in the Gazette. A fitting tribute to your most cherished "significant other", your Dad. We should all be so reflective at this time of year when Family is most meaningful.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 15:23

Permalink

Jan Pogue Edgartown

Here's to two old bulls -- and to Mark for his ability to capture their lives together so beautifully.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 16:03

Permalink

Frank Lovewell Northampton, Pennsylvania

Thanks abundantly to the Gazette and to my brother Mark Lovewell for sharing this personality sketch of a unique individual like my dad and the counterpart he has in a talented son like Mark!! What a wonderful legacy our seniors are to the community of Edgartown! They have a resourcefulness we sometimes overlook and only the Gazette can capture!

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 19:11

Permalink

Susan van Roijen Orlando and Edgratown

Mark ...What a great article and wonderful photo. You know how I feel about your Dad ..I was first introduced to him when we moved to the neighborhood and he was playing his sports program so loudly on the front porch that I raced over to make a big fuss.. When I saw it was an elderly gentleman, I went home and made him some cookies .. We've been special friends ever since. He always amazes me with his thoughtful intelligence and spot on understanding of all current events.. You are so lucky to have each other and your story makes it very clear how important that is to both of you .. Well done my friend ...Susan

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 20:24

Permalink

Seamond Roberts Pineville, LA

Mark: This is so how it is with me and my family. I play the part of your Dad (a bit younger but not by much) and my kids play the part of you. I am taking old age with about as much grace as I can muster up each day and yet awake thankful to be breathing each morning. My kids have the grace not to hang up on me on the phone. Between us all, the generations gap is a lesson in tolerance for all of us -- and it's a good one. I felt your words with all my heart - great article. (I also could feel the love -- God bless!)

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 12/19/2014 - 20:58

Permalink

Deborah Holt Tallahassee, FL

Thanks, Mark, for a great tribute to Dad.
Love, Cousin Debbie

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Sat, 12/20/2014 - 11:30

Permalink

Linda Malcouronne Center Conway, NH

beautifully written and heart felt article, Mark. You and your dad are exactly what makes the Vineyard so special.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Sun, 12/21/2014 - 12:21

Permalink

Bevin Bacon Lanikai, Hawaii

Thank you Mark for excellent observations on father son relationship. Extra meaningful as I have been privileged to know you both my whole life.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Mon, 12/22/2014 - 12:46

Permalink

nat molokai

Write on! Right up there with "the jet that wasn't there" and the "landing in Aquinnah", only better because of the heartfelt subject. Merry Christmas to all you Lovewells!

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 12/23/2014 - 07:04

Permalink

Colleen Seadale Edgartown, MA

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings about your relationship with your dad. You are so blessed to have each other !

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Mon, 11/27/2017 - 15:23

Permalink

Melissa Elley Maryland

Sincere Condolences to you , Mark , and your family .
I understand the loss of a Dad . Prayers Lifted as you all journey through this valley of tears .

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Mon, 11/27/2017 - 21:34

Permalink

Jean wn Bundy Anchorage

Hi Mark,
Still in Alaska. My father Bill Nelson who is buried on tower Hill loved your dad. Big Hug
Jean

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 11/28/2017 - 07:31

Permalink

Pat Tyra Dania Beach, FL and Edgartown

You and your family are in my thoughts Mark. Sincere condolences. Unfortunately we are now the new "old" generation. But the memories and pictures (you must have many) will help sustain us and let us share the fond memories with others. Do take care of yourself.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 11/28/2017 - 08:35

Permalink

Kim Thich Kaua‘i

My condolences to you and your family.Thanks for sharing article about your dad , very heart warming.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 11/28/2017 - 09:34

Permalink

Michael Levin Washington DC & Menemsha

This is a beautiful piece. Missed it the 1st time around. Thx for the re-run.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 11/28/2017 - 14:19

Permalink

Judy Corr Florida

So sorry to hear about your Dad. I remember him coming in to the Gazette office with Gizmo to say "Hello" to all of us. What a wonderful life he lived!

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 11/28/2017 - 15:57

Permalink

June Manning Aquinnah

Mark, My sincerest condolences to you and your family. I enjoyed reading this today as much as I enjoyed it in 2014. God Bless you for your daily visits and caring for your Dad. He had a rich full life. So fortunate to have met him.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Tue, 11/28/2017 - 21:27

Permalink

JENNIFER GARFIELD Holland, PA

Mark, very sorry for the loss of your dear old dad. Your essay about the two of you was so lovely, and so honest. I truly appreciated learning a bit about what he was like, and how you cared for him so well (including not subjecting him to your cooking). Deepest condolences to you and your family as your mourn his loss.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Wed, 11/29/2017 - 01:42

Permalink

Christine Powers Waltham, MA

I send my condolences to you and your family. He was a great father and friend to you.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Thu, 11/30/2017 - 06:59

Permalink

Tom Gorton Nanning, China

Mark....A beautiful "pre-tribute" to your Dad, now a eulogy. I feel empty for not ever meeting him. My condolences.

Add new comment

Plain text

  • No HTML tags allowed.
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Web page addresses and email addresses turn into links automatically.