The day after Trump was sworn in I started asking folks where the best place to move would be. My friend Kathy said Portugal; no standing army, beautiful weather and cheap.
The day after Trump was sworn in I started asking folks where the best place to move would be. My friend Kathy said Portugal; no standing army, beautiful weather and cheap. My friend Paula said Uruguay; gorgeous beaches, good people, no army. My friends in Ireland said come on over.
This isn’t the first time I have researched leaving the country. Before Nixon got elected, my husband and I vowed we would emigrate if he won. He won and we stayed.
When Bush signed the Patriot Act, I started my application to citizenship in Canada. When Barack re-upped the Patriot Act, I was sure they were holding his children hostage. I went back to my bookmarked paperwork for the north of North America.
Recently, I was Googling New Zealand real estate and looking at pictures of white sand and turquoise water. But everything changed during my neighbor and friend Bill Gamson’s Bar Mitzvah — at 83!
I was happy to be among the many guests at the Hebrew Center, but not being a regular in temple I expected to duck out as soon as the service was over. I sat there remembering how much I had loved my own Bat Mitzvah, but how little meaning religious school in general had been. We learned Hebrew by rote, the Rabbi talked only to the rich kids, (which meant he didn’t talk to me) and the sermons were long and boring.
My parents were cultural Jews. Assimilation was the name of the game. We celebrated only the high holidays and Passover. Hanukkah was a joke, a pale competitor of Christmas. The biggest compliment you could hope to get was “You don’t look Jewish”.
I have had a love hate relationship with my Judaism. The things I have treasured about being Jewish are Tikkun Olam (repair of the world) knowing that as a people we are committed to the responsibility of helping to heal the brokenness of the world. There are many rituals I respect, like at Seder putting bitter herbs on top of the sweet Charosis (apples, wine and walnuts) signifying you can’t be completely happy until everyone (not just Jews) is free. I love our humor. I love our food. I love the fact that we can argue with God. I love that we argue among ourselves, heated passionate disagreements. I love the search for knowledge and the thirst for intellectual challenges.
But I don’t like what Israel is doing. I don’t like organized religion that claims God as their own, and I don’t like thinking of us as The Chosen People.
But at Bill’s Bar Mitzvah my ambivalence turned to pure love when Rabbi Rachael Cowan got up and reminded me what a miracle the light of day is. It’s hard to write the sound of her words so you can feel what I did while sitting there. All I know is I go to sleep in a very dark room and when morning comes I walk out into the kitchen and it’s light. And I make coffee. Rachael reminded me that every day is a miracle. Every day the sun comes up. Why don’t we realize that this is a miracle?
Rabbi Caryn Broitman sang like an angel. The discussion among the congregation about what to do in this critical time in our nation was like being in a graduate course.
I looked around and there was my pharmacist. And there were Vicky and Armen Hanjian, Methodist ministers and early friends whom I met the first year I came to the Island, and Sally Cohn, who the minute I see her silver hair, so like my own, my heart is happy. And there was Ewell Hopkins my precious friend, Kimberly’s husband, and there were Bob and Bonnie George, and Harriet Bernstein glowing in white, and Barney Zeitz (whose gorgeous windows grace the center) and Phyllis Vecchia, and my friend Jill Bernstein, and Avi and Lubja, and Rhoda Diamond, who I love driving to a few of her millions of events, and of course Z who had arranged the whole thing. And Lynn Ditchfield, an astounding human being and my old boss at ACE, and Nancy and Duncan, and Max Jasney and Marjory Potts who taught us how to use our video camera, and Nicole Brisson, the writer, and, and, and.
Maybe because I stood for the Mourners’ Kaddish (the prayer for the dead) and I spoke out loud my son Dan’s name (who died seven years ago), maybe subconsciously I never really wanted to leave my country, or maybe all this time I have just been looking for my tribe. But I couldn’t duck out. I stayed for the delicious lunch and for the beautiful toasts to Bill.
And when I got home, instead of emailing my application for citizenship to Canada, I closed my computer with the photographs of all the places I will probably never see. And I sat down and wrote the check for my membership to the Martha’s Vineyard Hebrew Center.
Nancy Aronie lives in Chilmark. She is the author of Writing from the Heart: Tapping the Power of Your Inner Voice (Hyperion/Little Brown) and teaches the Chilmark Writing Workshop.
Comments
Welcome dear Nancy
Bonnie and Bob ChilmarkWelcome dear Nancy
What a beautiful article
Sally EdgartownWhat a beautiful article Nancy
And welcome to the Martha's Vineyard Hebrew Center.
How I love you, Nance. You do
Martha Magee here, nowHow I love you, Nance. You do surrender better than anyone I know. Welcome to your life.
May You Be Blessed.
Only Nancy has that secret
Roz Glazer New YorkOnly Nancy has that secret arsenal of magical garden tools with which. to plow the earth in the cold of winter and find flowers.
"And when you stop leaving,
Rob Burnside Kingston, PA"And when you stop leaving, you'll arrive." -Lao Tzu
I wish I were Jewish.
Michael OBI wish I were Jewish.
Welcome Nancy!! I have read
Elizabeth Rose EdgartownWelcome Nancy!! I have read your previous work in the Gazette but I didn't realize you were Jewish. This moment of forgiveness for past wrongs suffered in Hebrew School happens to many of us. Congratulations on making the transition to adult practice. Our family loves the Hebrew Center and I hope you do too. I look forward to meeting you at a Minyan.
Beautiful thoughts, so well
Doreen Morse Littleton & Edgartown, MABeautiful thoughts, so well expressed. I think if one takes Nancy Aronie's writing workshop that they could learn a great deal about love and it's many faces.
Perhaps you could open your
MlE FlPerhaps you could open your mind a bit further...by giving our President a chance!
you're right. you're totally
nancy chilmarkyou're right. you're totally right
Too bad you wasted so much of
Anthony MassachusettsToo bad you wasted so much of your time since 1968 wanting to leave America. Your time would have been much better spent realizing what was around you for all those years instead of now. I hope you can finally find some happiness as your article appears to state. By the way we elect a president every 4 years so make a lot of friends who can "guide" you through the next election.
ive been grateful to live
nancy chilmarkive been grateful to live here honestly. when i write, the passion is in the moment. many of my moments have been in great appreciatoin for this great country no matter who has been in leadership positions. but i get your point. really i do. so thank you.
I'd just like to point out
Jim CambridgeI'd just like to point out that if it weren't for the "standing army" of the United States of America, we wouldn't have the freedoms we have today. Thank a vet for that.
youre totally right and i
nancy chilmarkyoure totally right and i have great gratitude for our vets. i just figured if there were no army o one would want to come and hurt us
Wishful thinking. If we didn
deshandra brown mvWishful thinking. If we didn't have an army back in the 1940's we would all be speaking German or Japanese. Strength is the only way to keep peace in this world and our vets are the ones to thank for our ability to speak our minds, whether we agree or disagree.
So true. How easily we
Lorraine EdgartownSo true. How easily we forget the sacrifices of our service members. I am so concerned about the sentence in Nancy's reply: if there were no army no one would want to hurt us, I am paraphrasing a bit....the study of history, particularly world history, certainly shines a light on this fallacy. As a person whose family has fought in almost every war we have had, including the Revolutionary War, I am proud of the sacrifice our family has made over the centuries. In W W 2 we had no skin in the game and we saved the bacon of the Europeans and took in many refugees after that and rebuilt the world with the Marshall Plan. Our young men, some of them mere boys, came out of mountain hollows, off scrubby farms, out of wealthy families, all sorts, some of these young people's first decent pair of shoes were army boots. That we can so easily forget the sacrifice made by Americans breaks my heart.
If you would have gone
Ron EdgartownIf you would have gone further in your quest for a new nation you would have found that most of those countries that you were considering have --and enforce---strict immigration laws and most likely would not have allowed you to become a citizen absent substantial proof of "refugee" status or some significant business investment.
Each day is a gift ~ yes ~ &
Juliet Englander PhiladelphiaEach day is a gift ~ yes ~ & we contribute what we can to repair this beautiful world (& one another) together. You shine, Nancy! I love those windows in the sanctuary, too. L'chaim!!
Dearest Nancy, this just sent
Nicole Brisson EdgartownDearest Nancy, this just sent chills literally up and down my FACE, and my spine! How beautifully you elucidate feelings that so many of us have had - being raised in the fold, moving away, and coming "home." I joined the temple immediately when I moved here 19 years ago because it grounded me to my "former life" and because this is a wonderful warm community in which we share (on our own terms) the traditions and connection to our past. I imagine that this may be why people have "faith" and go to service at their places of worship. Although I connect to my spirituality on a regular basis by being in nature, the Hebrew Center is also my home, and I am glad that you feel that you, too, have a place to feel that warm embrace when you want and need it. And wait - me a WRITER?! Wow. How you flatter me and push me to follow my dream. For now, it's the camera through which I make my living and celebrate life, allowing me to happily bring people "home" to their families. Much love.
Loved what you wrote. I feel
Pat Levin Boston maLoved what you wrote. I feel the same way you do. I love being Jewish, the people, the holidays, but not organized religion.
I am ashamed of my country and embarresesed by our president, but it is still my country and I can't leave. I also think Martha's Vineyard is the most beautiful and peaceful place on earth. Used to be there every year but life has gotten in the way and haven't been back for three years. Miss it everyday. Glad you have found what you need.
and she makes great matzo
ed grazda Chilmarkand she makes great matzo ball soup!
hahaha
nancy chilmarkhahaha
Oh, Nancy! You never cease to
Susan Dickler West TisburyOh, Nancy! You never cease to challenge my head and heart to be more open. Thank you for this! Much food for thought (yes, we Jews like food metaphors. I wonder why?)
I too have looked at New
Sig Van Ran West TisburyI too have looked at New Zealand real estate - as well as the isand of Nevis - purchasing an Eco Hotel in Ecudor - Holland - Iceland -Sweeden Then I had a great insight - a place I'd feel safe - comfortable and surrounded by wonderful folks - Martha's Vineyard. Nothing like a reaffirmation. There's no place like home
I admire your vision and
rajka Ungerer EdgartownDear Ms. Nancy!
I admire your vision and profound understanding of challenges we must accept. Liking it or not.
Your always beautiful writing --as I am reading now--is stirring up the memories which were comfortably resting on the bottom of my Memory Container As they were entering my conscious mind I could see clearly the scenes from long ago:.
I am about 10 yrs old. My Catholic Grandmother is dragging us to the church every Sunday. I hated it.
Few months later my Father told us that Every Sunday we must get all together He wants to teach us about our new government under the leadership of Marshal Tito. He told us was telling us "you cannot not go to the church any more."As he continued every Sunday praising our new government and reciting new rules we must follow, I was loosing my initial enthusiasm. My Sundays were mserable. I hated it
Twenty years later I came to America. Soon I learned that here are more religions and more churches and everybody can choose and decide what they like..
After all the years in this country I am still continuing to learn and trying t0 understand how is it possible, after the centuries of religious wars the wars still go on.
Reading your article today I saw myself as naive and innocent youth, I did not ask any questions. I accepted the reality as it was.given to me. I was told that we were Catholics. Few years later we were told that were Communists.
Living in America Nobody is telling me what I should be, My reality in my New Country is that I have the choice to choose or not, and belong or not to any religion.
. Since my young adulthood my choice was not to choose and belong to any I continue learning hoping t would lead me to better understanding. of choice is the REAL FREEDOM.
Home is where the heart is
Valerie ChilmarkHome is where the heart is and you always invite everyone in and help them find their own, glad you've found yet another home on the Vineyard.
Assimilated meant Jewish on paper and in devotion to helping others, but as the only Jewish kid in my class who did not go to Sunday school or celebrate any holidays I think you are lucky to rekindle that connection in your life.
Hi Nancy. Just read this. Did
Steve Levine Chilmark/Toronto (yes, Canada!)Hi Nancy. Just read this. Did you write it or did I? Such resonances! Well, we're sitting here in Toronto (actually in San Francisco teaching right now), with those Vineyard blues again. As Milan Kundera wrote, "Life is elsewhere"! As a certified rootless cosmopolitan, the Vineyard is the only place I feel at home in–and you are one of the people who make it so. So much heartfelt openness! Thanks for being your wacky self (me too).
By the way, when Trump won, I thought, "I have to move back to the Vineyard and be part of the resistance." But the kids and grand-kids are here, so... Life takes funny turns sometimes.
Wonderful to see you and Joel whenever–perhaps at the Film festival next month? Expect a big hug! Love you, Steve
Very well said, Nancy! I am
Jan Buhrman Costa RicaVery well said, Nancy! I am disappointed that I missed Bill's special day and the reminder of our special community.
Jan
Nancy, such a nice compliment
Marjory Potts West TisburyNancy, such a nice compliment but I must correct and say that it was Robert who could do all and anything with "things" who taught you to use a video camera. If it had been me, the tapes would have been in upside down. (But I'm great at standing & directing! Traffic, movies, puppies, whatever.) Rabbi Caryn Broitman has brought great life and intellectual excitement to the Hebrew Center. My Jewish childhood was like yours - it wasn't. If I'd had Caryn as a Rabbi, I might have connected. But there she is now and I, too, am finding a place. (So did Robert, a life long atheist, he converted at 83 and brought me along, kicking and screaming until I wasn't.)
Loved this piece. Keep
Leah Meany Kristensen Solrød Strand, DenmarkLoved this piece. Keep telling my friend here to attend one of your writing' workshops.
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