So, every day all summer and even into October when I take my ridiculously embarrassingly short bike ride on Lobsterville, I scan the grasses for the white egret.
So, every day all summer and even into October when I take my ridiculously embarrassingly short bike ride on Lobsterville, I scan the grasses for the white egret, stark in contrast against the hundreds of various shades of greens. When I see her, I sometimes gasp right out loud. Once in a while there are two and that’s a double header. At the end of August something happened.
I’m on my usual road trip (I know, I know very short, I’m the one who told you in the first place how short it is) and I look up and out where I always look up and out. I don’t see one and I don’t see two. I see, hang on, what, I see twelve! Twelve egrets! I almost fall off my bike.
Wow, where did they all come from? Are these maybe the babies? But they all look the same size. Have they always been there and I never saw them? Impossible. Totally impossible.
None of this is earth shattering, but now comes the philosophical part of the piece.
The very next day after my big bonanza I am riding along looking forward to another thrill, but what do I see? One. One lone egret. I am so disappointed that I almost don’t look. One lousy egret? Are you kidding me.
So did I say hello, my one beauty? Good morning you gorgeous elegant bird, you. Did I mutter under my breath, such grace?
No. I did not. In fact quite the opposite. I felt a loss. I felt where are they? What happened? Was this some kind of tease? You take me to a smash hit on Broadway opening night and in the middle of my applause and my standing ovation you take me back to the rehearsal studio.
One egret? That’s your big deal? How had I been thrilled with only one and why do I now feel cheated, depleted, disappointed, lacking, wanting more. Where is my full Monty?!
I spend the rest of the day ruminating over what this is about. How could something that felt so beautiful and special suddenly seem less than. I start thinking about iPhones 5 and 6 and 7 and 8, and iPad blah blah blah, and flat screen and HD and robot vacuum cleaners — the newest, coolest, keenest, sharpest, thinnest, lightest new device.
This is the downside of getting older. Comparisons. When did we switch from loyalty to immediate gratification?
I can’t help thinking, what happened to the value of driving your car until it literally couldn’t move anymore, fixing the toaster until you admitted that it’s enough already only having half the coils working, turning the bread around, burning on one side and having undone toast on the other.
Only eight months ago this iPhone was perfect. Omg, look at everything it could do. Now it’s old. Too short, too long, too heavy, too light, not enough mega schmites.
Once you’ve been introduced to something new and seemingly better, the original awe has lost its power. Is this just human nature? Am I that fickle? How could I have abandoned that pristine feathered creature for numbers, sheer numbers. I thought I was better than that.
So today I’m going out in the cold (walking, not riding) and I will look for her. And I will honor her one-of-a-kindness, her snow flakedness, her naked beauty. And if I should be lucky enough to catch a teeny glimpse, I will try to remember how I felt when I first saw her, and then I will turn to her and I will bow.
Nancy Slonim Aronie is the author of Writing from the Heart (Hyperion) and the founder of the Chilmark Writing Workshop on Martha’s Vineyard.
Comments
Mega schmites !!!
Martha Magee Here, NowMega schmites !!!
God, how I love you.
Bowing to you, O Fruit of Loops
'-)
xo
Ah Nancy... How I long for
Sybil West TisburyAh Nancy... How I long for daily peek at your snow flakedness! Thank you for your voice and for showing me how to embrace mine. Love always.
Nancy, what a beautiful piece
Susan S ChilmarkNancy, what a beautiful piece on human nature. I too gasp when I see a Great egret with its breathtaking beauty. One of my treasures is an egret courtship plume. Seeing them stalking fish is a perfect moment I want to hold on to forever, but which I forget so quickly when I think about everything that needs to be done later in the day.
You bring me back to the
Mary V Palmer Off IslandYou bring me back to the Island's quiet and beauty. Wonder surrounds us if we can but see it. The birds allow us to wonder and applaud their majesty. Thank you for the images and stories.
truly wonderful. changed the
betsy weinstock ny/mvtruly wonderful. changed the day. am in full-hearted accord with you and will go see my egret soon. thank you.
Several years ago I looked up
Alma Ivor-Campbell Bristol, RISeveral years ago I looked up one Fall day and saw a flock of egrets in the sky. I tried counting them. Twenty one! Will never forget that, but totally agree that one beautiful bird is filling also.
Enjoyed your article! I am
Margaret Vero BeachEnjoyed your article! I am blessed to share my backyard with these graceful creatures from God. Don't remember seeing egrets when we lived on Cape Cod for 30 years. Blessings to you each day!
I heard many times "it is
Rajka Ungerer EdgartownI heard many times "it is never too late". A cliché? Words of wisdom? Insatiable need to hope after hope until one day you cannot even remember what was it that you were hoping for? "The fullness of knowing" provocative and persuasive message by Nancy woke me up from my tendency to quickly give up when my hopes do not come through. Disillusioned and insecure I surrender to nagging disappointment of loosing something I wanted with al my heart and mind. I knew that I could not revive the lost hopes. My worse fear was that I do not have the clarity of mind and that the emotions take over. How can I be sure that my future hopes will be realized?
The first bird evoked a very powerful sense of joy and beauty. It was inevitable for it to come back after her extended family of twelve took over the space in the sky. I believe that the second sighting of the majestic bird was telling Nancy, in egret language:"the knowledgeable one: "It s never too late. Today you added to your vast knowledge realization and acceptance of beauty which you call "The Fullness of Knowing".
Thank you Nancy. I still enjoy learning. It is never to late.
beautifully said
kat obbeautifully said
My sweet sister, you feed my
Andrea PiteraMy sweet sister, you feed my soul with your musings. Love you.
Ha Ha Ha ! Mega schmites !
Katie Dawson MVHa Ha Ha ! Mega schmites ! Love Ya girl !
Just being one friend -- just
John Z. ChilmarkJust being one friend -- just one hug -- just one peaceful breath -- just one ... while we conveniently forget that "just" means "merely" in this context -- something we don't really mean -- but rather celebrate the one's uniqueness and love.
This morning you reminded me
Roberta Guilford CTThis morning you reminded me of THE POWER OF ENOUGH. I stood up and turned to the east and bowed deeply in your direction. THANK YOU, Gypsy Girl
Beautiful and perfectly said.
Kay Goldstein Chapel Hill, NCBeautiful and perfectly said. Thank you.
Ah, It's not about egrets. It
Peter Mulraney Adelaide, AustraliaAh, It's not about egrets. It's about being in the moment and recognising the beauty right there in front of you, whether it's an egret or the same face you saw yesterday. Beauty is all around us in nature, and right here in your writing. Thank you.
Could he be "the one"? The
Bev Painesville OHCould he be "the one"? The soulmate, lover and best friend I searched for? The ying to my yang? In courtship, the journey is blissful. Butterflies fluttering in my stomach with anticipation of just seeing him. Hanging on every word like a skilled cliff climber ascending a mountainside. Learning the pieces to his puzzle. Then time presses on and the butterflies migrate south and the cliff climber reaches the summit. The "honeymoon phase" seems to lose some sparkle. The flame, although not snuffed out, weakens to a flicker. The changes come as we watch routine glide in as gracefully as a ballroom dancer. But he is different. He is romantic and loving. Matters of the heart conquer over material things. He touches, not only with his gentle hand but with his heart. He listens to my rants and raves, he embraces me through trials and triumphs, he supports me when I am at the edge or when I am ready to take flight. He is not perfection, but I would venture to guess that is an impossibility. He loses socks and leaves on lights, he lets the water run and loses patience with my snoring bulldog, but at dinner tonight, he told me I looked beautiful. In the glowing candlelight of our favorite restaurant, my hand in his, he still thinks I'm beautiful. I love this precious soul with all my heart and I am warmed in the fullness of knowing one is enough.
Lovely
Stacy DekalbLovely
So beautiful and so true.
Kim MarkesichSo beautiful and so true.
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