<p>Chris and Lynn McDonnell spent their vacation on the Vineyard this year the way they always do. End-to-end walks on Lighthouse Beach, filling Solo cups with shells, beach glass and wampum. Out to eat in Menemsha for fish and lobster. Down to the harborfront in Edgartown for ice cream. Up to Oak Bluffs to say hello to Johnny Cupcakes.
Chris and Lynn McDonnell spent their vacation on the Vineyard this year the way they always do. End-to-end walks on Lighthouse Beach, filling Solo cups with shells, beach glass and wampum. Out to eat in Menemsha for fish and lobster. Down to the harborfront in Edgartown for ice cream. Up to Oak Bluffs to say hello to Johnny Cupcakes. Breakfast to go from the Edgartown Deli, eaten family style at the lighthouse.
This year is different, of course. But the memories are there, as vivid as the sunrise that washes over the Edgartown Light on an August morning. This is the place where Grace Audrey McDonnell learned to swim. Where she put bare feet in the warm sand and dreamed aloud of being an artist and living on Martha’s Vineyard.
Grace died on Dec. 14 at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn., a day now etched in history. She was seven.
Last week Chris and Lynn, their son Jack and Lynn’s sister and brother in law, returned to the Vineyard for a family vacation. The McDonnells have come to the Vineyard every August since Jack, soon to turn 13, was a baby.
And this year they discovered that the Island was not only a place for so many well-loved family vacations, but also a place to begin to heal.
“Coming here felt like it always does,” Lynn McDonnell said. “We came with our hearts heavy and broken, but still we were excited and looking forward to it,” she said.
“And we found peace,” Chris McDonnell said.
“It just feels like summer again,” Lynn added.
They sat beneath the lighthouse last Saturday morning, the kind of perfect August day that makes you wish every day could be just like this. The scene around the lighthouse was a summer tableau. Early-bird beachgoers headed for the shore, colorful towels draped around shoulders. Children dug holes in the sand at the edge of a tidal pool. In the outer harbor a trio of kayakers paddled silently past. Lilly McDonnell, a black Labrador puppy and recent addition to the family, tugged at her leash. On the north side of the lighthouse lies a gray cobblestone, freshly engraved with Grace’s full name and now a permanent part of the Children’s Memorial that surrounds the base of the light. Flowers and scallop shells decorated the stone. This is the place where the light is always on for the children who are remembered there.
“It was one of the first things we did after Grace died,” Lynn said of the cobblestone. “We knew about this memorial because we had been here, of course, and we knew that we wanted Grace to be here.”
A ceremony is held each year in late September at the Children’s Memorial. The McDonnells plan to return for the ceremony, this year, every year.
Their first Vineyard vacation was decided on a whim, and it’s stayed that way since. They stay at the Harbor View Hotel or the Harborside Inn. “Whoever has room for us,” Chris said. They take whatever ferry reservation they can get. They always come the week of the fair and the fireworks. Grace was always the first one packed.
“When Gracie was four or five she took art classes every week,” Lynn said. “She looked at things differently. She saw beauty in everything. She would say, I’m just going to live on the Vineyard and paint,” recalled Lynn.
“We told her, just make sure there is a room in your house for Mom and Dad,” said Chris.
Following the Newtown shooting that left an entire country in shock and mourning, the McDonnells received an outpouring of cards and other expressions, including from the Island.
“So many people from the Vineyard sent us things,” Lynn said. “It meant so much to us.”
In the aftermath many people also gave them books, intended to help them cope. Mostly they couldn’t read them, Lynn said. But in one, a collection of passages, Chris came across a quotation that struck a chord. “It was about the need to go out and reclaim pieces of the person they had lost. And we get that,” he said.
“We can see and feel her everywhere on the Vineyard,” Lynn said. “Especially here at the lighthouse. This was one of her favorite places to be. We have so many pictures. Whenever we left we would bring pieces of the Vineyard with us.”
In a small break with tradition, this summer the McDonnell family stayed in a rented house off North Water street two doors down from the Harbor View. They went to the lighthouse every morning at sunrise. They wrote messages to Grace on small shells and left them on her stone. They made dinner reservations in her name. “Just Grace,” Chris said.
Lynn concluded: “We needed to be where she was. Coming here we got a piece of her back.” In December they will travel to another island Grace loved: Hawaii. They will go to other places too where they shared time as a family.
But first there was the end of a Vineyard summer vacation to savor. An afternoon at the fair. A drive to Aquinnah to the lookout where you can see Cuttyhunk. A last walk end to end at Lighthouse Beach to fill Solo cups with shells and seaglass.
“Grace always said soak it up. That was a favorite expression of hers. And that’s what we are going to do,” Chris said.

Comments
Lynn & Chris - Our son Robby
Dan & Landis Mayasich Phoenix & Vineyard HavenLynn & Chris - Our son Robby's stone is right next to your Grace at the memorial. We're so pleased and comforted by that. He was a special boy and we miss him dearly. As I'm sure you've learned over these many months, very little happens by chance. There's a strange and even beautiful order to it all. What your beautiful Grace has shown the world, what you have become to so many parents, and what our sweet children share side by side from this day forward. Much love, Dan & Landis
Dear Lynn and Chris, I am so
Judy Smart East Templeton, MADear Lynn and Chris, I am so sorry for your loss and was filled with so much sadness for the families of Sandy Brook Elementary children knowing the long road you all face after loosing a child. We have a similar story of our time at the Vineyard with our family and the loss of our daughter Jamie in 2001. Jamie was 15 the first time we vacationed at the Vineyard and she absolutely fell in love with the beauty there. She was planning on continuing her education in the field of art & photography so she just loved all the picture opportunities she found there. She had taken a beautiful picture of the Edgartown Lighthouse on our last visit there in the summer of 2000 and had framed it in her art class. I would always tease her that when she left home, that picture stayed with me and her last Christmas with us, she gave me that picture. Who would have known that would be the last gift I ever received from Jamie. She was killed in a car accident February 4th, 2001 2 weeks before she was to receive an award from the Boston Globe Art Contest for a picture she had taken at SeaWorld. The summer of 2001, when they dedicated the lighthouse in memory of children no longer with us, my brother read about it and my family bought a stone in memory of Jamie for her birthday. It is a treasured gift and like you, it is a special place that I know Jamie is happy to be a part of. Since Jamie's passing, we have lost a grand daughter and a cousin and they are now have a special place at the memorial with Jamie. The peach and beauty of the lighthouse has become even more beautiful honoring our children no longer with us. Judy & David Smart
Dearest Lynne and Chris,
Colleen & Larry Czarnik Sydney,AustraliaDearest Lynne and Chris,
We live on the other side of the world, but were touched by the loss of all those dear souls on that fateful day.
We watched in disbelief as parent after parent was interviewed and felt their pain.
We listened to your words and wanted you to know that whenever we are in church and sing "Amazing Grace" we send Prayers, Love and Support to you and your dear Grace. We see her beautiful face and think of her ... the face of an angel. With Love, Colleen & Larry Czarnik, Sydney, Australia
I am so very sorry about your
Suzi Parker Nebraska, AmericaI am so very sorry about your loss. I know that she was such a special little and beautiful girl to you and your family
Gracie is a beautiful light
Patty Grosse Pointe Farms, MiGracie is a beautiful light that will always shine! A beautiful picture of her is in my mind.
I think of your family and all the families with such a heavy heart. I used to be a first grade teacher and last year one of my daughters was in first grade. Everyday I hug her so hard and thank God for her. I just pray for your continued peace and those beautiful memories to hold onto.
Thank you for sharing her beautiful life with us!
May God continue tho carry you through.
The children are a part of my
Danielle Frankfort NYThe children are a part of my everyday. They will never be forgotten. Just know you will be with Grace again. Live your lives .. Live for her.
I enjoy seeing the beautiful
Marcia Edgartown, MAI enjoy seeing the beautiful shells and flowers around your daughter's stone. I have 3 stones at Edgartown Lighthouse. It is a bittersweet place for me, but mostly a happy place. The Children's Memorial helps with healing. God bless you and your family.
We were in Mystic Seaport on
Robert & Marilyn Mahon Kernville, CaliforniaWe were in Mystic Seaport on that horrible day...your daughter fills our heart every time we visit her playground in Mystic Seaport.
We had a sign made out of wood that now hangs in our barn here in California that reads "Live Gracefully" She is often thought of.
Dear Lynn and Chris,
Julianne McDonnell-Martensen Vero Beach, FLDear Lynn and Chris,
I just discovered this site, tonight. At first I thought it was "by chance" but nothing happens by chance. You've got many miles to cross, with a cross of a lifetime. Your journey has begun and whether it is a gift of Grace or other celestial beings, your smiles, your eyes appear bright and reflect lots of love. Prayers never stop for you both and Jack; however, I believe in my heart that some of the prayers are beginning to witness answers. No more words, just more prayers. Lovingly, your old cousin, Pippy.
My thoughts and prayers goes
Amanda Granata Pickering OntarioMy thoughts and prayers goes out to your beautiful daughter Grace McDonnell I feel so heartbreaking to see you going through this difficult time I’m so sorry for the lost and I’m send my love to Grace she is our angel God Bless Amanda from the Granata Family
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