I moved to the Vineyard in 2006 and still feel like a washashore. But over the past year or so, I’ve begun exhibiting symptoms I associate with longtime residence of the Island. So here’s a list, composed while sitting in traffic this week, which I’ll call, “You know you’re a year-rounder when…”
• You put not one but two “Feel the Pride” stickers on your car and realize you should have done this years ago, because half the cops on the Island are ex football players.
• You’re off-Island, at a market you used to visit only after receiving a bonus check, and are trolling the aisles of organic produce and artisanal cheeses thinking, “When did the prices here get so reasonable?”
• You dream of Chinese takeout the way you used to dream about sex.
• It’s February, bleaker than a Bergman film, there is nowhere to go and nothing to do, and you think, “Well at least there’s no traffic.”
• You never saw the point of Falmouth, but it’s February again (or January, or March) and you think, “Maybe Teaticket Mall deserves a look after all.”
• You’re less interested in the New York Times coverage of Syria than in a Vineyard Times article headlined, “Honey makers drop suit to rejoin Farmers Market.”
• You shout at a store clerk and instantly regret it, not because you were wrong, but because three quarters of the people in the store know you, and all of them are texting.
• You seem to know a lot of people in A.A. and wonder if you should join them.
• It’s a Saturday evening in mid-summer, your child incurs an injury that should be treated at the emergency room, and you tell him, “Bud, you know what? Tough it out til Monday.” Or better yet, Labor Day.
• It’s summer and it’s you that needs medical treatment, in fact its potentially serious, and your first thought is, “dear God, if I’m struck dead, please let it happen before my family visits in August.”
• The day after your procedure, which turns up nothing, you get a free follow-up from the doctor who performed it, since he’s stuck beside you in the post office line.
• The day after that, you go to Leslie’s to pick up your prescriptions and the lady behind the counter asks how your colonoscopy went.
• On the way home, you risk breaking an axle and swamping your car to maneuver on that secret, barely passable road skirting one of the Island’s worst intersections (and no, I’m not telling you how to find it).
• Those neighbors you used to think were crazy for fleeing the Island in summer for an empty beach in northern Maine don’t seem so crazy anymore.
• You’re at your desk, staring down a deadline, and it’s one of those gem-like Island days when everything, even the breeze, seems to shimmer. And you think of that wise maxim: “Never do today what you can do tomorrow.”
And then head to the beach.
Tony Horwitz is an author who lives in West Tisbury.

Comments
You know it, Tony!
Rex Jarrell West TisburyYou know it, Tony!
See you at the beach.
Tony, you nailed it. Lots of
Thomas Dresser Oak BluffsTony, you nailed it. Lots of good feelings and notions expressed here.
And when you step back and think about it, where else would you want to be?
As W.C. Fields would say "I'd
Charles Kitson OstervilleAs W.C. Fields would say "I'd rather be in Philadelphia."
Loved it
JWLoved it
Amen, bother!
george c off islandAmen, brother!
Life on the rock....poetic!
Cara Slats West TizLife on the rock....poetic!
you know you're and islander
mick f Mainlandyou know you're and islander when you rush to Cronigs for water and batteries at the mere mention of snow, but you happily attend a hurricane party.
You know you're an Islander
joe chappyYou know you're an Islander when you pay taxes on a home on the Island, but have to listen to year round renters talk about the Island as if they own it.
Not so sure about that one,
Steve Metcalfe WeymouthNot so sure about that one, Big Joe. I was a year-round homeowner on the Island for 11 years, then a renter for 3+. Renters are helping pay those taxes, too, by handing sizable rent checks to landlords. And renters put up with a lot of crap, as well, such as dignity-crushing shuffle between homes and friends' couches around Memorial Day.
And you have more of a claim
Jen Vineyard HavenAnd you have more of a claim to this island than us lowly renters? Don't know many islanders with that attitude. I actually find your comment disturbing, hope my native children never cross paths with the likes of you.
..when you dread august and
obporch ob..when you dread august and look forward to november
Well said and all so true,
Jeanne Barron West TisburyWell said and all so true, Tony. Just can't imagine you shouting at a store clerk.
When all your friends arrive
Candy Shweder Chilmark, MAWhen all your friends arrive and say-- ahh finally summer and you think can't wait till September!
I was offended by your
Linda H. Rakowski Falmouth, MAI was offended by your gratuitous put-down and saddened by your ignorance of our vibrant town of Falmouth. While all of our cultural gems are not open in February, you'll find Falmouth doesn't roll up it's sidewalks either. I would invite you to start your day with a coffee and pastry at Boulangerie La Villette (across from the library & Peg Noonan Park on Main St.).....stop in for a book at Eight Cousins...and, go from there with a curious mind....
I'm one of those washashores
Judith Miller Maine now, Vineyard Haven in a monthI'm one of those washashores who goes to Maine in the summer, not to flee, but out of long-time family tradition. However, I tell you, even if the beaches are crowded in August, I miss the warm waters off MV and the rare chance I might catch a glimpse of the Obamas.
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