When Being Six Meant Nothing to Fear

Glued to the television during the last quarter of 2012 as events unfolded, the senatorial and presidential debates and triumphs, Hurricane Sandy, the northeaster, and then the tragedy and long mourning in Newtown, Conn., I had a mid-course emotional reaction, a sadness which now seems rather trivial. At the height of Sandy, while watching the boardwalk at Atlantic City break up piece by piece and float out to sea, memories of childhood summers spent there visiting my grandmother floated in on a tide of nostalgia

Glued to the television during the last quarter of 2012 as events unfolded, the senatorial and presidential debates and triumphs, Hurricane Sandy, the northeaster, and then the tragedy and long mourning in Newtown, Conn., I had a mid-course emotional reaction, a sadness which now seems rather trivial.

At the height of Sandy, while watching the boardwalk at Atlantic City break up piece by piece and float out to sea, memories of childhood summers spent there visiting my grandmother floated in on a tide of nostalgia — even the old song, On The Boardwalk in Atlantic City. It was August in the mid-1930s, when I was six years old, that I remember in curious detail.

My parents and decade-older siblings were traveling (out west? to Europe?) and I was packed off to join tiny, nearsighted Nanny at the Hotel President, some distance away from the elegant hotels, Claridge’s and the Chalfront, where high tea reigned. After breakfast Nanny would let me help her arrange the smooth mysteriously marked tiles for her daily day-long game of mahjong. Then she’d give me a purse full of coins and say, in effect, “Go have a good time on the boardwalk dear. Come back for lunch. And don’t go near the water!”

I would immediately buzz the elevator, wait for its 16-year-old operator Dick McCormick whom I had a crush on, then take it to the basement. From there I would walk carefully over the slippery white tiles and out the wide opening of the hotel to the beach. After a glance at the forbidden ocean (and the handsome lifeguards) I would trot up the wooden steps to paradise.

Money in my pocket, freedom in my heart, maybe devil in my eye, I’d begin my magic morning. First stop: Fralinger’s Salt Water Taffy. Second: Skeeball, the game I thought I excelled at, getting the little ball into the 100 hole over and over. Third: the Steele Pier.

This welcoming structure held delicious terror and awe for me. Heading down a narrow stairway I’d enter the vast world of Davy Jones’s Locker. Undersea creatures, bold, clandestine and huge, seemed to emerge, suddenly sweeping toward me. My nose was pressed to their glass tank waterscapes and I’d invariably recoil. Then, after climbing to the top of the tank, I’d watch breathlessly as a young woman, then another, snapped her heels and plunged on her steed into the water far below.

Afterwards, I might walk further, to the Million Dollar Pier, where I recall ballroom dancing, the waltzers’ gowns not as beautiful as my mother’s satin and velvet ones which I often helped her pack in her steamer trunk for voyages. Then I’d drop in at an auction house or two, a bit baffled by the vigorous betting for carpets, jewelry and paintings (who would want them?). I’d be sure to save time to climb up into the high Elephant House, imagining I was a conqueror of some far-off continent. This was all before lunch.

Afternoons, with more coins and encouragement from Nanny who had full confidence in my ability to read, write, make change (and have judgment?), I’d set off again, perhaps riding in a scratchy seated rolling chair pushed by a gentleman of color, and attend a movie (no PG 13 or X-ratings then) that made little sense to a six-year-old, but had awesome scenes like Hedy Lamar rising naked out of a small pond (Ecstasy). Luckily, no gambling casinos had yet opened!

Imagine that scene today? My trusting grandmother would have been excoriated by my parents (I never told them, somehow knowing it should be my heady secret and hoping for a repeat when I’d be seven). I was obviously a privileged child. I knew I was loved and protected — overprotected at home in Baltimore after the Lindbergh kidnapping (probably one of the only unimaginable crimes of 1932). At three, I pulled the sheet tight over my head at night for months, lying flat so the man whom I feared would raise the ladder to my window wouldn’t see me.

At six years old, Atlantic City was my ticket to the circus. I attended alone, safely each day, and my confidence in life and its adventures to come burgeoning. I decided I wanted to live by the sea and travel as did my favorite girl series fictional heroines, Susannah of the Yukon and Beverly Gray who went to the Orient, a journey far beyond local super-sleuth Nancy Drew. They and Atlantic City surely set me on a path to becoming a peripatetic Pollyanna and nature nut, if not a poet and activist, too.

Decades and careers later, some involving very conflicted downbeat stuff, I’m still an optimist. Except when I’m reading in the USA Today (12/27) that a majority of Americans oppose banning assault weapons. Or when I’m wondering what each of the 20 children for whom the bells tolled at year’s end, the smiling Charlotte, Ana, Madeline, Grace, Daniel, Noah and the others whose faces shone from newspapers and TV sets daily, were dreaming, thinking and planning when they awoke that fateful Newtown morning. I would like to believe that by New Year’s Day they were walking on a boardwalk in heaven.

Comments

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Sat, 01/12/2013 - 00:41

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Jeanne Barron West Tisbury

Very sweet nostalgia. How lucky to be given such freedom as a child. I too have fond memories of Atlantic City. in early 1960's my mother was a NJ school teacher and every November they held their convention there. For a few days, while my mother attended the convention and my father entertained my younger brothers I was free, often with a friend,, to amuse myself.. We'd usually end up spending most of our time and money on riding the horses that were for hire on the beach. In old western saddles and sans helmets we'd gallop along the beach and try to get the horses to jump over anything we could find. Oh, what fun.

Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 10:54

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Carol M. Golub, Ph.D,. Chilmark

Another message to be learned from the Newtown tragedy is that we cannot protect our children from all possible tragedy no matter how much we "bubble wrap" them because it can find them even in the safe confines of their elementary school classroom. I have similar memories to Rose's of my childhood in Minneapolis in which I was allowed to take the bus to downtown Minneapolis to my orthodontist appointment at age 8 with change in my pocket to buy paper dolls at the dime store or go sledding with my cousin all alone on an empty golf course along a busy highway miles from our house in the dark early evening--dropped off and picked up by a parent an hour or so later. Those experiences taught me to have confidence in myself, to feel in charge of my own destiny, and to enjoy the world as a great place for adventures. Unfortunately the Newtown tragedy is more likely to increase parental vigilance about protecting their children to the detriment of those very children. Thankfully the percentage of children struck down by violence is very small but the overprotection impacts a huge percentage of them. A couple of days ago I put on C-SPAN for a few minutes and tuned in to a discussion among educators at a conference about the new educational reform movement to teach children to take more responsibility for their own learning and have more drive to reach their goals in response to the trend of achievement test scores falling year after year. As a psychologist and former teacher I know there are many factors contributing to that trend. However, not allowing our children any independence, driving them everywhere, and supervising all their activities teaches them to expect life to be a "lazy-susan" where they can sample what appeals to them as it goes by rather than an empty sheet of paper to create the life they long to achieve. America cannot continue to be the world's leader in technology and innovation without a work force driven to reach those goals.

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